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Gator Watch/Transcript
Scene I: The Sewer The Penguins are having dinner in the sewers, their plates on a makeshift table. While Rico is eating fish whole, Private, Skipper, and Kowalski are having Sushi. Private takes a bite of his sushi, grossed out by the constant flushing sounds in the background. He spits out his sushi, while Rico continues to devour his fish. Private: Um, Skipper, salt, please. Skipper is fiddling with his sushi. He reaches for the salt shaker. He takes the salt shaker. Skipper: Here you go, Pri... Another flush is heard. Skipper: ...vate. He passes the salt to Private, who takes it. Private: Thank you, Skipper. Private turns to Kowalski. Private: Uh, so, Kowalski, have you discovered any science...things? Kowalski doesn't hear him, as he is grossed out by flushing as well. Private: Kowalski. Kowalski: Hmm? Private: Science. Any new discoveries? The flushing increases in pace. Kowalski: Oh. Um, well, yes. I've been experimenting with transdimensional... He is interrupted by a flush. '' '''Kowalski': Transdimen.... Another three or so flushes. '' '''Kowalski': Tran... (very annoyed) AW, COME ON! ENOUGH ALREADY!! Roger comes in with a plate of Smoked Salmon. Roger: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but you can't rush Smoked Salmon puffs. They burn if you so much as look at them the wrong way. Private: The food isn't the problem, Roger. Another flush is heard. They all look up at the pipe. Skipper: (points to the pipe) That is the problem! We're eating in a stinking sewer. Roger: I know, I know. (sighs) Flushing does not a great dinner party make, right? So I'll put on some show tunes. Yeah! Yeah, something bold and brassy. A real eleven o'clock number! He goes off. Skipper: Reptile, (Roger stops) the sounds of the sewer are the least of our problems. Rico smells something odd in the sewers. He waves his flipper in front of his beak. Rico: Ohh... Roger: (head hung low) I'm sorry, guys. I've been down here so long, I've barely noticed the smell. Kowalski: Really? How do you get used to-? Roger looks at him, his face very close to Kowalski's. Roger snaps. Roger: You can't! You can't get used to that! What, are you insane?! He straightens himself up. Roger is sad. Roger: I hate my home. Private: So why not leave? Kowalski takes out a clip board with a map of Florida and a pencil. He points to a section of Florida. Kowalski: Many of your kind live quite comfortably in the South Florida area known as Gator Alley. He puts away the clipboard. An idea comes to him. Kowalski: Oh, I just got that. Alligator. Gator-! Skipper: Yeah, we get it, Kowalski. Operation: See ya later, Gator is a-go! Skipper jumps onto the table. Skipper: We'll need a large crate, 10 million dirge marks, and a C-17 cargo jet on the runway in 15 minutes. Kowalski writes everything down on his clipboard. Kowalski: I might need 30 minutes on the jet. Skipper punches the back of his flipper. Skipper: Blast it, man. That could jeopardize the whole mission. Roger: Whoa! Guys! I'm not movin'! Times Square, the Met, Broadway? I mean, come on, Broadway?! You can't ask me to give up on my dream of singing at the Great White Way! He sits down. Roger: No, I would rather live in the worst sewer in the Big Apple than in the best swamp in all of Florida. Skipper: I hear you, brother. It's not the heat, it's the humidity. Rico: Uh...(shrugs) okay. Roger: So I'll just stay put. Down here. In this sewer. (upset) ''On the banks of this raging river of filth! '''Private': (concerned) Oh, dear. Private gets an idea Private: You could always move to the zoo, Roger. Roger: (overjoyed) I could?! Skipper: Negatory. Our zoo overlords may be somewhat slow on the uptake... Kowalski: ...But even they would notice the sudden appearence of an 800 pound alligator. Skipper: Despair not, Roger. Compared to our usual high-stakes tango, your little problem is but a petty pirouette. Roger: Oh, okay. (gets confused) Which means... what? I don't know. Skipper: We'll find you a new home, right here. In the city that never sleeps. Scene II: Pond in Central Park The penguins are floating on the pond's surface in a synchronized swimming fashion. Kowalski: Fresh air, sunshine, and a pond to replicate your native, marshy enviroment. Skipper: Sold, done! And we pirouette. In counterclockwise order, the penguins spin in the water. Private: What do you think, Roger? We see the penguins have stuffed Roger in a log. Roger: It's, uh, it's nice, it's nice. I got one question. Why the log? It's not very, um... ah, what's the word, uh, comfortable. Kowalski stands up. Kowalski: Well, with the park's predominantly human population, you'll need camouflage. Skipper stands up and swims over to Roger Skipper: Just hold still when people are around. Otherwise, they're likely to...! A woman screams upon seeing Roger. Woman: (in panic) Alligator! Get the police! HEEELP!!! Roger swims over to her. Roger: No, no, wait! I'm not gonna...! He trips and falls to the surface. The two look at one another. Woman: HEEELP!!! Scene III: News Studio News report with Chuck Charles and Bonnie Chang. The news logo appears briefly. Chuck: And finally, from the wack-a-doo file, Esther A. Paxton of Peravus claims to have seen an actual alligator in Central Park. But when Animal Control investigated, all they found was... Cut to the pond with a now empty log. A reporter holds up a microphone to it. Chuck: ...this log. Cut back to the news studio, Bonnie laughs at this. Bonnie: Sounds like they were barking up the wrong tree, Chuck. He chuckles at the joke. Bonnie: You're out on a limb there, Bonnie. Ha! The report ends. Scene IV: Outside a Museum The penguins sneak into a museum. Roger tries to sneak in, but collides into a column. The penguins take him inside. Scene V: Museum of Natural History Skipper: Okay. I grant you, there were issues with our previous home proposal. Private: But this one's brilliant! Roger is standing on an empty display. Roger: Are you really positive they're not going to find me here? Skipper: Not if you hold still this time! Kowalski takes out a museum brochure. Kowalski: From 10 am to 5:45 pm monday through friday; 8:45 pm on weekends. People start coming into the museum. Private: Uh oh, Skipper. Museum's open! Skipper: Duck and cover, men. The penguins go into a wastebasket. Skipper pops out briefly. Skipper: And Roger. Hold still. He ducks back in. Roger poses as a statue. A family walks by Roger. Man: Who wants to see some pet things? Boy 1: Gator! Cool. The two boys stop to see Roger. Boy 2: What? That? It's totally fake looking. Check out his dumb rubber nose. The second boy pokes his nose. Roger jerks upward in pain. Roger: Ow! (holding his nose) ''Why would you do that? ''The two boys panic. Scene VI: News Studio Another news flash with Chuck and Bonnie. Chuck: Fear gripped the Museum of Natural History today as witnesses claim they were "attacked" by the Alligator Exhibit. Cut to the museum. A reporter is interviewing one of the kids. Boy 1: We was just standing there, you know. Not doing nothing wrong, and then the alligator comes alive and tries to eat my cousin, Vick. Vick nods. Cut back to the news studio. Chuck: Curiously, museum officials say there is no Alligator Exhibit. Bonnie: Hmm. Curious indeed, Chuck. The report ends. Scene VII: Atop a Building Skipper: Okay, the pond and the museum suffered from...unplanned variables. Lessons learned. We see the penguins and Roger on top of a skyscraper. Private: But this one's a winner! Roger: All right, let me get, I'm supposed to be what now? Kowalski takes out his clipboard, which has a picture of a gargoyle Kowalski: A gargoyle. Stone carved into a mythological creature that wards off evil spirits. Roger: The thing is, guys, um, I'm not real good with heights. Skipper: (irritated) Well, gee, Roger. What are you "real good" with? Not camouflage, not holding still. We're running out of options here! Private: Just don't look down. You'll be fine. Roger: Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look- He looks down, gets dizzy, and falls off the building Roger: Doooooooooooown!! Private: (in fear) Roger!! A splash is heard below. Kowalski: Ooh. Lucky for him, there was a swimming pool down there. Screaming is soon heard later. Private: (worried) A rather public pool... Scene VIII: News Studio Category:Transcripts